. give up the ghost

[athena mccarthy]

"No," she frowns and takes a sip of wine, "I want you to put them in jail." She feels him getting frustrated with her lack of understanding. Athena worked her ass off, she hustled and pushed for what she wanted to do. She saw an importance in passion, especially since she had the privilege to be. It was confusing to her why people of privilege wouldn't seek out the passion. "You've only listened to your episode, haven't you?" she tries to get a read out of him. She had to defend it often, so it's almost second nature. There's an annoyed edge to her voice that creeps in, "no, I'm not bored of it."

[Deleted]

The slightest edge has crept into the conversation and it makes Julian wary. Towards the end of their relationship every interaction had become so barbed, their mutual frustrations bubbling up in the form of passive aggressive questions and rolled eyes. He banishes any feelings of defensiveness away. "Maybe I'll retrain," he says. He heads into the kitchen to plate up the food, putting a tart on a crisp white plate and piling salad beside it. He emerges, handing it back to her. "No, I've listened to a few. I prefer your other one, I listen to all of them."

[athena mccarthy]

Athena fluffs her hair with her hand and fidgets. She hated getting wrapped up in this part. She doesn't know why she lets it get to her, she never does when it's anyone else. But with Julian it seems to matter more. "I'm going to send you my favourite ones," she changes her tone and sets the plate on her lap, "or the ones I'm most proud of." She lifts the tart to her mouth and takes a small bite, "wow, Jules. This pastry.. I think I killed it."

[Deleted]

He glances at her, able to read her thoughts from her beautifully expressive face. "Thena, I listen to podcasts about the stock market. Don't be offended by your podcast not being my thing, it's a compliment," he says, settling down in the armchair and balancing his plate on his lap. He digs in, suddenly starving. "Oh yeah. You've got a future as a pastry chef, if the whole podcast thing doesn't work out."

[athena mccarthy]

She looks at him blankly before waving him away, "get out of my brain." She takes a good bite, brie melting in her mouth, "both podcasts are top ten, you gotta cave into the trends." Athena stabs at the leafy greens with a fork. She might be desperate for his approval, but she also appreciated how he didn't crowd please. He could always be trusted not to bullshit her. "Worth the wait," she finished the tart and stands to collect plates, "honestly, what a disaster it would have been if I hadn't have stepped in."

[Deleted]

He smiles, pleased by her success. "Good for you," he says, meaning it. He wants to ask if any of her exes enjoy listening to her dissect her sex life on Spotify, but he doesn't want to have to think about them either-- a key part of the reason he chose not to listen at all. "Stocks are trending now, people are into it. It's a weird time," he says, knowing she won't want to talk about Wall Street. He watches her eat, once more wondering where it all goes. "Tap on the panel to the left of the sink. It'll open the dishwasher," he says, handing her his plate gratefully. "Do you want a cigarette?"

[athena mccarthy]

"Touché," she says, lifting his plate. They were two very different people and she was easily reminded of it while talking to him. The beachy blonde disappears into the kitchen and does as she's told. Athena was keen on comfort and part of that comfort came in the form of rarely updating her appliances. As rich as she was, she still had a leaking dishwasher that she kept fixing instead of replacing. "No, I'm being a good girl," she stretches her arms up and her back cracks like a glow stick, "you go ahead though. You look good all wrinkled."

[Deleted]

It felt strange to have someone else here. He was used to being by himself by this point, someone exceptionally well equipped for a lockdown as he preferred his own company. He also preferred shopping online, and working out in his home gym, and generally avoiding human contact at every opportunity. He nods at her response. Opening the door to a tiny balcony, he pulled the armchair up beside it, lighting up a cigarette and taking a deep drag as he sat back down. "You're the only person who's been here since I bought it," he says, gesturing around them. "I thought I might never have a visitor. Keep it all to myself."

[athena mccarthy]

Cold New York air makes goosebumps raise on her arm and she watches as an ember forms at the tip of the dart. She almost tempted to give in. If she were drunk she probably would have. She instead looks away from the temptation and collapses back on the couch with her wine. "Really?" she says like she's surprised, but she's not. "I've visited, you've hosted and you're even getting an overnighter." Athena sips her wine, "I miss hosting. And being hosted. And dancing with sweaty people. I even miss sharing slobbery joints with strangers."

[Deleted]

He glances out at the eerie quiet of a city that was usually so buzzing. He never wanted this quiet to end. This was an evening not unlike one he would have had on his own on paper, cooking a meal, having a cigarette on the balcony for dessert... but it's transformed by her presence. He nods as she speaks, their differences obvious once more. "Not long now. You'll be back to galas and clubs and sweaty strangers in no time."

[athena mccarthy]

"Maybe," she looks down at her glass and it's suddenly empty - how did it get there? When she sets it on the table she pushes it far so she can avoid filling the glass. "Here," she stands and walks over to him, her fingers take the cigarette, "I can't. It's like someone yawning, so you have to yawn.. except this is worst than yawning." She takes a drag and blows it out into the cold air. Her brain feels relaxed and she bends down to kiss the peak of his cheekbone, "don't remind me of it."

[Deleted]

It's not long before she saunters over, her slim fingers plucking the cigarette from him. He feels a pang of guilt at his negative influence, though he'd always thought women looked extremely sexy with a cigarette in their hand. Smoke curls over her full lips and he wants her badly. "No more, I feel bad," he says, taking a deep inhale and trying to keep control of himself. He gets up, squishing the cigarette out on a small glass ashtray that sits by the window. He slips his arms around her waist, his head nestling in the crook of her neck as he looks out at New York again. "I'm gonna lose you to this city once she opens up again."

[athena mccarthy]

Athena's wine stained lips smile when he admits his guilt, her now free hand squeezes his neck gently, "such a bad influence." When she was younger she wanted to try everything, she had such a bottomless curiosity and zest for life. Things hadn't changed much when push came to shove, but for the most part she was aware of herself. He slips around her and her heart feels like it's going to burst. She turns her head and kisses his cheek, her hands find his to hold, "maybe for a moment." Athena admits. She wants to go be wild. To drink and dance on sticky floors. "I'll come back though. You'll need to nurse me back to soberity."

[Deleted]

She admits that he's right and his breath gets caught in his throat. The thought of her slipping out into the night, into a city that was full of men who'd love to have her slip into their arms... his stomach is in knots until he banishes the thought, unable to cope with it. "So long as you come back," he echoes. Trying to keep Athena too close was a surefire way of pushing her away for good, as he knew all too well. "Want me to run you a bath, Julia Roberts?"

[athena mccarthy]

Athena gives his hands a squeeze, "always." She'd lost relationships to the jealousy of nights out and she wonders if it was them, or if it was her never assuring them because she maybe liked the attention. "I really do," she moves to face him and presses her lips against his, "the more bubbles the better. A whole room of it. We'll drown in bubbles."