violent delights

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i they're covered in some weird oil too, extra flammable. you want brylee to hate it, crucially important. anyway, we're going to do or dive. i know the bartender so should be cheap!

[pat bohannon]

P A T Seriously? But how else where I find out where she’s from and if she’s a mayor on FourSquare? Kidding, I get it more now. Still don’t get how you know everyone from everywhere, but that I get.

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i mhmm. new york's not as big as it might seem, philly boy. do you ever miss home?

[pat bohannon]

P A T Yeah, all the time. It’s nice being here with Ben, and I like New York, but no place like home sometimes. My sister on the other hand is relieved we can only terrorize her from so far. Would that have been my alias if Bodega Boy wasn’t a thing?

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i i'd love to meet her. what does she do? oooh good question... if it wasn't for bodega, the only way you'd be featured is if we were dating. so i'd probably see you in a different light, a different nickname would emerge. though i'm pretty uncreative so probably.

[pat bohannon]

P A T You’ll probably see her around soon, Charlie’s dying to come up. She’s does production stuff for Free People, i think? One of those brands. I’d say something with the Eagles, but you don’t seem like the type to date me for my sports knowledge?

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i ooh fun, tell me when you know she's coming. haha oh god no. very possible it would be something to do with the moustache.

[pat bohannon]

P A T Should I be scared? I would accept Baby Guinness.

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i am i so scary? 😇 oh that's good! do you want to be my copywriter?

[pat bohannon]

P A T You’re funny, Stas. Nah, I’d just write an entire caption about how much Jasper sucks and ruin your content.

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i oh my GOD please can you do a guest voiceover one time? you can be as honest as you like!

[pat bohannon]

P A T Do I have to edit the video too?

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i nooo i'll get it ready to go and you just record a voiceover. please! i'll work every sunday for the rest of the year!

[pat bohannon]

P A T You don't have to do that, I'm up for the challenge. Might practice my dramatic voice tonight and everything, your sister's friends will think I narrate my life daily by the end.

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i no talk like you, your voice is sexy as it is. your fangirls in my comments are going to be RABID.