. human error

[dominic vinten cuvo]

DVC I learned the funniest fact today, do you want to know it?

[calvin keller]

CAL is lila full of jokes now?

[dominic vinten cuvo]

DVC She's English, she's incapable of being funny. Do you want to know it or not? I had a chuckle.

[calvin keller]

CAL you always love unique torture. sure, hit me with it.

[dominic vinten cuvo]

DVC I actually bailed on her, I'm in Palm Springs rn. So a slur in Italian is 'finook,' from the word for fennel because they used to throw fennel seeds on people being burned at the stake for being gay - to make the smell better! Isn't that hilarious?

[calvin keller]

CAL Still want to be spared from the groupchat? Sounds like something some 12 year old on Twitter has a 40 page thread on that bemoans the homophobia then links to 3 different pages, one in which is their commissioned art page for questionable anime porn.

[dominic vinten cuvo]

DVC Keep me out, I'm making new friends. Ok so you found my fake Twitter, you could've just said that. Hold on, are we in the same picture??

[calvin keller]

CAL Retired octogenarians or bachelor parties today? You could really work on your proportions, are you sure you studied art? Don't bet on that hentai taking you anywhere. #twinning i still feel like shit

[dominic vinten cuvo]

DVC Stop, that's more than enough words. Tell me your symptoms, I want to gloat about how good I feel.

[calvin keller]

CAL I'm thinking how poetic it would be to watch you all scatter my ashes off the 405.

[dominic vinten cuvo]

DVC That's beautiful. Can you smoke human ashes?

[calvin keller]

CAL Not sure, but you can probably put me in a candle and burn me. Or turn me into lighter fluid, light the perfect joint in my honor.

[dominic vinten cuvo]

DVC A Cal scented candle, delicious. And now we've just learned to add some fennel. Don't worry I'd get you pressed into something nice. Not just a pill. Some jewelry would be chic. Also, how do you feel about taxidermy?

[calvin keller]

CAL Burning me right through the heart, how romantic. Fucked, they're always watching. Especially tuned in when you're having sex. Ever wonder if the taxidermist puts a camera in those fake eyes?

[dominic vinten cuvo]

DVC But that's the only reason to become a taxidermist. If they didn't I'd be sorely disappointed, and want a refund for my grandpa. Should we put cameras up in someone's house we know?